Tag Archives: tequila

Mija Cantina: Not Worth Their Salt

13 Jun

The Boston Nacho News Network (BNNN) is all atwitter today with the news that Jalepenos is closing (the curse of Our House West rears its ugly head…). But with its passing comes another crappy Mexican restaurant–this time in the doldrums of Quincy Market. On first glance, Mija Cantina & Tequila Bar  seemed to be a lovely oasis with a design concept best described by our friend Zach as “pro-tourist salvage-yard neo-mexigoth.” We would have been wise, however, to heed the advice of the many Yelp reviewers who cautioned us to keep clear.

According to our server, Mija opened two weeks ago, but if we didn’t know better, we would assume someone had hauled in a wait staff off the street, forgot to train them, and then opened doors three months early. We didn’t even know where to begin in describing the problems with the service, so we condensed it down into a list:

  • Upon arriving, a nervous looking hostess told us it would be an hour wait for a table of seven. This was Wednesday early evening, and once we pointed to a whole slew of empty tables and told her we would just sit separately, she told us they could push two tables together.
  • While waiting for our table, we noticed numerous waitresses demonstrate an absolute inability to hold a tray.
  • Our waitress could only find one drink menu, and then brought out the wrong beer three times. We asked for a Long Trail IPA–first they served us Bud Light. Twice they brought out Harpoon IPA. We gave up after that.
  • It took five bartenders 22 minutes to serve us two margaritas so bad that we had to send them back.
  • In deference to our vegetarian table-mate, we asked for carnitas to be served on the side of our ‘chos. When the runner put the plate on the table, we saw a distinct pile of meat. Asking him if these had “carnitas on the side,” he quickly said yes and left before we could argue. We would have been grumpy about this until we noticed that the beans had meat built in. Which brings us to the issue of the nachos…
Based on the description on the menu, these nachos had promise: tortilla chips, charro beans (pinto beans with bacon and chorizo) , Monterey jack cheese, chile con queso, pico, crema, guacamole, and carnitas.
  • Appearance: (7.5) Attractive, with an artful drizzle of crema.  Points off for the “on the side” carnitas…
  • Quality: (7) We enjoyed the carnitas and beans; however, the chips were both unevenly cooked and unevenly salted, so much so that there were bites that left us choking and teary-eyed with sodium overdose (and Nacho Patrol LOVES their salt).  The guacamole and salsa were nothing special.
  • Distribution: (7.3) There were a lot of toppings, but overall the dish was heavy, rather than complementary. The unevenly cooked chips only added to the problem as some became incredibly soggy under the weight of all the toppings.
  • Price: (3) The management might think that $13 nachos (and $11 margaritas) are appropriate for the space and location, but we say they simply aren’t worth the trouble of dealing with this establishment.
  • Overall: 24.8/40.  These nachos aren’t bad, but please, don’t go.  This place hasn’t yet earned the right to be in business and we don’t want to encourage them!
We were lucky to share this meal with a small army of food industry professionals, and as they pointed out, a new restaurant needs a competent wait-staff to support it while it builds a reputation. Sadly, Mija’s under-qualified staff and overpriced menu handicapped what could have been a pleasant dining experience. We will be eagerly anticipating the next Mexican restaurant to sweep in on the Tex-Mex tides.

Tequileria at the MSP airport: Carpe Cuervo

15 Jul

TequileriaNacho Patrol are world travelers, and when we’re holed up in airports, we like to drink and eat nachos. While waiting for a very delayed flight to LAX, we sidled up to the Tequileria located in Terminal G–the trendiest bar in town if you consider the competition: Chili’s to-go and a McDonalds.

A staple of just about every major airport from Minneapolis to Miami, the Tequileria offers a wide selection of off-tasting Tex-Mex and drink deals ($3 tequila back for a $5 beer? Lurv it!). And if you like a margarita as much as our dear friend Smasharita, you’re likely to be in alcoholic aviation heaven. Unfortunately, the cheap drinks are just about all you’ll want to enjoy. As a note, the photo for this review will be posted later after the airline finds our luggage:

  • Appearance: (9) as pretty as a picture–enough to even make the waitress squee in delight. It sported a nice arrangement of orange cheese, bright fresh tomatoes and green onions, cups of salsa and guac, and a blinding dollop of sour cream. Nothing, of course, is perfect, and these nachos didn’t quite make our mouth water with anticipation as Pour House’s–our gold standard–did.
  • Distribution: (6) Tequileria has a major distribution problem. Under that place mat of cheese and beans and chicken (however accidental the chicken was), the chips were completely nude. Not even a bean or a drop of cheese or sour cream. Nacho Patrol isn’t much for math, but they would give a solid estimate of 30% coverage, with another 30% touched by the light of toppings and the rest completely naked! We also didn’t much approve of the plastic cups of salsa and guacamole.
  • Quality of toppings: (6) It’s unfortunate that restaurants still insist on putting chicken on nachos despite the less-than-delicious oral experience. For lack of a better word, it always just tastes weird, and this is coming from a Nacho Patrol that loves her some words. It’s dry and strangely spiced, and it certainly doesn’t help the
  • Price: (6) Though Nacho Patrol still isn’t sure if the accidental chicken was complementary, Tequileria’s prices were fairly average, a large plate setting the hungry traveler back $8.95 sans carne, $9.99 for chicken, beans, pork, or beef, and an extra $1.29 for 2 tablespoons of guacamole.
  • Overall: 27/40

Mobile Nacho Patroling is the clearly the way of the future. Expect another, possibly drunker, review 2,000 miles away from scenic LAX. Just don’t expect us to be indulging in this particular tequila chain again any time soon.

Edit: We looked. There are no nachos to be had in LAX Terminal 2, gates 22-28. Apparently, people from and traveling to New Zealand do not eat nachos.

Nachopalooza ’09: AKA the greatest night of all time!

14 Mar


Stay tuned as Nacho Patrol embarks on its greatest adventure yet: Nachopalooza ’09, hosted by MTV Spring Break!!! Watch as we and our 15 closest friends create our own nacho masterworks with ingredients such as 10-hour crockpot chili, a variety of cheeses, and Skyler’s homemade, east-African conquering guacamole. Check back tomorrow as we live-blog the entire experience!!! As it is Spring Break, also expect at least six varieties of jello shots, flowin’ tequila, and appearences by Carson Daly!!!

The Patrollers! (Btw, they're not bibs, they're super sweet Spanish conquistador collars. And they say "Nacho Patrol" on them in Crayola puffy paint.)

The Patrollers! (Btw, they're not bibs, they're super sweet Spanish conquistador collars. And they say "Nacho Patrol" on them in Crayola puffy paint.)