Tag Archives: Late Night Noms

Cornwall’s: Rock Me Like Hurricane Earl

5 Sep

When it’s birthday time, nothing can stop us from partying.  Not rain, nor wind, nor a hurricane expected to bring both.   Friday night found us out in Kenmore, rain/drinking boots on, doing our part to combat Hurricane Early by drinking enough hurricanes to lower him to just a tropical storm.  And it worked!  Celebratory nachos seemed to be in order, so we took a break from darts and charades at Cornwall’s to try out the ‘chos.

We’ve unofficially reviewed the nachos at Cornwall’s before and found them….less than satisfactory.  But if so, then time to put it on the books!  Without consulting their menu, we alerted our waitress to our desperate need for the house nachos (they don’t normally come with chili so we went without).

  • Appearance: (6) Certainly cheesy, with oozing white cheddar barely masking some tomatoes and serious jalapenos.  On the side in plastic cups, the holy trinity of nacho condiments: salsa, sour cream, and…..queso dip? Huh??
  • Quality of Ingredients: (5) The melted white cheddar was delicious on top.  The salsa and queso….not so much.  The cheese sauce was barely even warmed!  Had we wanted to pour it over it would have been nothing but a big glob.  Salsa was nothing distinctive, chips likewise.  The black pepper on top was inspired.  So simple, yet so delicious!
  • Distribution of Toppings: (5) There was a ton of cheese on top but nothing on the lower layers.  It suddenly becomes clear: the double-cheese is deliberate, knowing that we’ll get bored with the naked chips underneath and need something to dip them in.  Why not just skip the queso altogether and just divide the cheese into two layers? Efficiency, people!
  • Price: (4) Since we flagged down a waitress and hollered for nachos rather than seeing the menu first, we knew that a lot would depend on the price.  And…$9? Without chili or chicken or anything?  Talk about a shock!
  • Overall: 20/40.  We always forget that this place has food…and for good reason.  A great place to get your drink on but the nachos are a total waste of money.

Classics Revisited: Our House West

16 May

Not far from Nacho Patrol World Headquarters lies a place shrouded in mystery. Surrounded by a fog of Brubakers (too soon?) and Old Spice Body Wash, there are thing one would do in Our House West that might otherwise be considered below the standards of decency.  And we have done most of those things, yet somehow, they still let us back in.

  • Appearance: (7) Colorful enough, but rather flat. We liked the inclusion of fresh veggies but were taken aback by the rogue chili bowl off to the side.
  • Quality of Ingredients: (7) We remember generally liking everything but not much else stood out…
  • Distribution of Toppings: (4) Last time we came here, we forgot to order chili on our nachos and sorely regretted it.  This time, we rectified the error and received…regular nachos with a bowl of chili on the side??  Our House, you have reached a new low in nacho-distribution laziness.  Sure, there was ample melted cheese, salsa and guacamole to provide excellent coverage, but we aren’t going to let you rest on that.  We have principles to uphold, and we do not approve of cutting corners when it comes to nachos!
  • Price: (8) At $8 with chili, these are still pretty cheap.  Small, but if you only have a few people, worth it.
  • Overall: 26/40 When we originally visited Our House West for the nachos, it was one of our very first reviews, and we have often wondered if we were perhaps too lenient.  It turns out that we were– like everything that comes out of this place, these nachos are passably decent yet utterly forgettable.

As a side note, if you’re planning on abstaining from booze for the evening, you’re in for quite a surprise since they charge for refills on soda. If you can name one bar IN THE WORLD that does this, we will buy you…a soda from Our House West. We’re not bitter or anything. And no, we didn’t pay for it.

Roggies: Cleveland (Circle) Rocks!

14 Mar

The nachos of Cleveland Circle have so far not been kind to us.  CitySide (hereby dubbed ShittySide by Nacho Guest Patroler and Cleveland Circle resident Rox Con) was a gross disappointment, and we have yet to muster the fortitude to venture into the soul-crushing corporate abyss of that is Applebee’s (although considering how surprisingly well our other chain restaurant review went, we may want to suck it up and go sometime soon).  There was one last beacon of hope on the horizon, and that was Roggies; but from the get go, things seemed grim.  Despite the bouncer outside, the average age inside appeared to be 19; and the brims of baseball caps veered off at all sorts of angles, each douchier than the last.  Yes, our Douchebag-O-Meters were going off the charts as the BC bros caroused over scorpion bowls and beer towers, at their first stop in a long night likely leading to slipping that special someone a roofie at Mary Ann’s. Even the rest of the menu looked dubious–raw oysters? Rainbow trout*, meaning of asterisk undetermined?  Somehow, Roggies managed to transcend all of these portends and produce (could it be??!) good nachos!

  • Appearance: (8.5) An array of colors and textures, that upon closer examination revealed far more toppings than originally expected.  We’re taking off an extra half point for the plastic containers (not pictured) of salsa, sour cream and guacamole– how gauche!
  • Quality of Ingredients: (8) Let’s play a game called, “Rarely Seen Ingredients In The Boston Nacho Scene.”  Black olives? Check. Kidney beans? You betcha. A fresh vegetable that is not part of the salsa?  Say no more!  While everything else (chips, cheese, chili, guac) was good, it was the little details that pushed these nachos over the top.
  • Distribution of Toppings: (9) Massive amounts of melted cheese can never hurt, and while there were some naked chips, there was plenty of use for them, scooping up extra toppings.
  • Price: (6) At $12, on par for the area but not particularly outstanding.
  • Overall: 31.5.  We have it on good authority that this is one of the only things this place does right.  Still, at least they are good at something! If you are in the area and need nachos, this is likely your best bet.