Tag Archives: Doritos

Temple Bar Cafe (Klovenierburgswal Centrum, Amsterdam): AmsterDAM, these nachos are terrible!

22 Jun
Today’s review is brought to you by the newest division at Nacho Patrol World Headquarters, Parental Patrol. In other horrifying news, our parents are learning how to blog. Ahhh!!! Enjoy!
First let me thank and curse Nacho Patrol for inspiring me to try nachos in odd places- ie, anywhere outside a bar in North America.  So far, I have had nachos in Venice, Vienna and Mumbai, and now, Amsterdam.  With emphasis on those last three letters…..

We had a one-nighter in Amsterdam on our way home from Europe.  We dropped off the bags, zipped into the city, and realized we were hungry.  Bought a wurst of sorts at the market, then spotted Nachos on a bar menu and knew this was the ever-so-flimsy excuse we needed to grab a seat, order up some brewskies and try Dutch Nachos.

Since they're not regular Patroller's, Parental Patrol didn't know you're supposed to take a picture before you eat

Let’s just say the beers were great.  The “nachos” were those south-of-the-border spiced Dorito chips, only somehow thicker, with your standard movie-theatre orange cheeselike sauce pumped over. They did go to the extra effort to pump this substance onto several layers of Doritos in the bowl, so that you could appreciate the mediocrity all the way down to the bottom layer of chips. There was a little bowl of something red that must have been their stab at salsa.  Why does Europe insist on pureeing all salsas?

Verdict.  Not even an excuse for nachos.  Just doritos with imitation cheese sauce and imitation salsa.  Nice locale, nice beers, wonderful people watching.  Saw a bike saloon that looked like a lot more fun than these nachos.

Bringing a new dimension to drunk biking

Giving these nachos a number is an insult to nachos everywhere.  0/40.  Hop onto the bike saloon instead, enjoy the beer, and stick to what the dutch do best–biking, drinking, and talking in a language that involves a lot of involuntary spitting.

Metro Cafe and Bar (Dunedin, Otago, New Zealand): Nachos at the Bottom of the World

29 Nov

For today’s adventure, Nacho Patrol headed south. And after heading south, we boarded another plane and headed even more south, and then after that, we drove even farther. While we’re holding out hopes for nachos in Antarctica, this may be as geographically far as one can go to find our favorite dish. For those of you who skipped your New Zealand geography class, the beautifully hilly town of Dunedin can be found here. They’ve got castles and albatross and penguins and the steepest hill in the world and, apparently, a decent plate of nachos…Decent by South Pacific/Commonwealth of Britain standards at least.

  • Appearance: (7.5) for a place that bills itself as a pizza joint (a word to the wise, avoid New Zealand pizza), Dunedin’s Metro Cafe and Bar–located conveniently in the Octagon–sports quite a tasty looking plate of nachos. With a pile of toppings in the middle surrounded by a sea of round chips, these weren’t what we’re used to, but pleasant nonetheless.
  • Distribution: (6.5) Just when we think we’ve seen every method of distribution out there, Metro gave us something a little different–a ring of crispy chips filled with a creamy center of chili, sour cream, and salsa. Acting much more like a dip than a unified arrangement, it worked for us, though there wasn’t nearly enough cheese.
  • Quality: (6) Here’s what interesting/slightly horrifying about New Zealand nachos–instead of using straight corn chips, they use nacho flavored Doritos. Weird, we know. That in itself isn’t too terrible, but after awhile they become overwhelmingly salty, especially when combined with the subtly sweet chili. It wasn’t bad, but it had us grasping blindly for the water glass. FYI, if you’re a dirty, tree-hugging herbivore, they have a vegetarian nacho.
  • Price: (5.5) These nachos came in at about NZD $19 (USD $13.60). Big, filling, and absolutely too much for two people. But still pretty pricey if you want to get drinks and a pizza as well.
  • Overall: 25.5/40

Oh Dunedin, in comparison to some of our other New Zealand/England nacho reviews, you’ve done us proud, even if you are about a ten minute walk from the antarctic.