Tag Archives: Disney World

Casa Bonita: Cartman-Approved

20 Oct

Denver’s Casa Bonita is in a class all it’s own. Where else can one watch cliff divers, gun battles, and mariachi bands in a faux tropical grotto that would make Disney World jealous? While simultaneously eating sub-par mexican food? Within a recreation of a 18th century Spanish-American church in a strip mall? Mention it to any Coloradoan and their face will light up in recognition. Everyone’s been there, and everyone has a story. Even outsiders know about the place, because it is our first and only nacho destination to be the subject of a South Park episode.

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Yes folks, that is pretty much exactly what Casa Bonita is like. Eighteen years ago, this nacho patroller got lost in Black Bart’s Cave, panicked, and ran headfirst into a rock wall. Hoping not to repeat this experience, she returned once more with a friend in tow, and sampled the nacho salad:

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  • Appearance: (3) Wan lettuce does not a salad make. We’re calling this what it was: a boring plate of nachos with some lettuce tossed on top. The only real cheese was lightly sprinkled, unmelted on top; a few sad tomatoes were the only spark of life.
  • Quality of Ingredients: (1) Ever seen an Oriental Trading catalogue? Pages upon pages of brightly colored party supplies, seasonal chatckes and goody-bag toys. In theory, it sounds like a great idea– a dozen “Villanous Hairy Mustaches” or 144 “Halloween Pencil-Top Erasers”for $4.99? As Cartman would say, “Awesome!”. But then you realize that you paid good money for some unabashedly tacky, poorly made, completely unnecessary item. That’s how we feel about the ingredients of these nachos.
  • Distribution of Toppings: (5) In lieu of actual cheese, they used cheese sauce, which got everywhere; however, it was thin and watery and everything it touched turned yucky. We commenced a desperate, ultimately futile search for naked chips.
  • Price: (2) $12 is totally not worth it for these nachos. But let’s face it, you aren’t here for the food, you’re here for the spectacle.
  • Overall: 10. The worst nachos that this patroller has ever eaten. But the cliff-diving show, scary cave, old-time photos, arcade, and underground mining-themed dining room were enough to take our minds off of them.

These nachos should be thrown off a cliff and then banished to Black Bart’s Cave.

Disney World: When You Wish Upon a Nacho

11 Jan
Disney

Every now and then Nacho Patrol goes on vacation. Shocking, I know–but sunlight does occasionally draw us away from the dark streets of Boston, and when that happens, we must oblige. This time around Andi, Smash, and guest correspondent TomTheBomb.Com ventured to the world headquarters of FUN, Disney World. And what a day it was! Three parks, 13 rides, hundreds of photos, and miles of pavement pounded, Nacho Patrol handily took care of Epcot, Magic Kingdom, and Disney Studios in one VERY long day. Of course, amidst all the happiness and the plummeting down roller coasters, we never forgot our God given mission–to seek out and consume new and exciting nachos, to go boldly where no nacho connoisseur has ever gone before. That fateful day, our destiny brought us to Cantina de San Angel located in the scenic Mexico World Showcase in Epcot.

Warning: we must preface these ratings by noting that this review is of a Disney World foodstuff, so…what do you expect?

  • Presentation: (5) Globbed inelegantly on a Styrofoam plate (-3 points for using environmentally destructive serving materials), these nachos looked about as good as nachos made with fake cheese can look. The tomatoes were a nice splash of color on an otherwise unnatural looking array, but keep in mind that these nachos are NOT made to order…pre-made factory-style. YUM! But, what do you expect? It’s Disney World. They need to keep things efficient or our dreams of short lines will be dashed.
  • Quality of toppings: (5) bagged chips, fake cheese (the creamy kind that comes out of a giant metal box with a pump on the side), meat that could have come straight from a Taco Bell food prep line, rather decent black beans and tomatoes, though.
  • Distribution of toppings: ( 8 ) it definitely helps distribution when all of your toppings are largely viscous, able to run together into a smorgasbord of flavor and intrigue. Everything was pretty well distributed, not a chip was nude.
  • Price: (3) I worry that it’s not even worth it to review this section, because, well….what do you expect? It’s Disney World and everything is outrageously priced. From our $350 entrance fee to $8 pints at the London Showcase pub, if you come to Disney World you’d better bring some spendin’ money to keep your pocketful of dreams company. The portion was small–enough to be a meal for one person, but split 3-ways was rather spartan for $8. Only slightly worse than the Lower Depths…but not by much.
  • Overall: (21/40) Nacho Patrol really really loves Disney World, and for that reason we’re going to add on a few gratuity points. So the nachos sucked. Whatever. It’s Disney World…what do you expect? 30/40!

On a side note, Nacho Patrol’s resident margarita expert (who will be hanging up her drinkin’ shoes until finals are over until May), Smash, gave the $8.50 frozen margs (also located in the Mexico Showcase) an 8/10–two points off because they’re only available frozen and not on the rocks, a Smash essential.

Everyday reaffirming our belief that good nachos are everywhere, only waiting to be found, Nacho Patrol will continue to travel the world (Yes, the World!) to bring you the good world of the nacho. This, of course, is a one-day-at-a- time process: after all, traveling the world should take us longer than the 20 minute walk around the World showcase….