Tag Archives: board games

The Asheville Brewing Company

26 Oct

Today’s nacho review takes us far, far away from the cold, Bud Light-drenched land of Boston to the warm, welcoming bosom of Western North Carolina.  There, the beers are locally brewed (and cheap!), the hippies run wild, and it’s still out-door dining weather. We found all three of these things in our recent trip to Asheville at the Asheville Brewing Company, a converted bus station turned brewpub/movie theater.  The covered outdoor patio resembled a less dodgy and much better ventilated version of Our House West, with a rack of board games (including a giant custom-made Jenga set) and a corn hole game. Were the nachos too a step up?  Here, we were confronted with two options: one nacho plate with corn tortilla chips (Nacho Mama), and one with flour (Nacho Daddy).  We went with the flour chip offering with chicken, in hopes it would be the most original.

  • Appearance: (7) Did we order pizza?  These nachos blew Uno’s out of the water in the “Flattest Nacho” competition; and the finely-chopped toppings did nothing to dispel their pizza-like image.
  • Quality of Ingredients: (6) The chips were bizarre, like nothing we’d ever tasted on nachos but at the same time familiar.  It took a few bites but we narrowed it down– they tasted exactly like the wrappers on crab rangoon. Interesting, but a bit too heavy after a few bites.  The chicken was in tiny pieces and rather dry; black beans and some veggies were a nice touch. The salsa was pretty tasty, too bad it was on the side in a tiny container!
  • Distribution of Toppings: (7) It’s hard to mess up distribution when your nachos are at max two chips deep.  However, these still could have used a little more viscous ingredients.
  • Price: (7) At $7.50, great for Boston, just OK for the boondocks.
  • Overall:  28/40.  While tasty, these nachos suffered a bit of an identity crisis.  Pizza? Chinese food? Or ‘chos? Until they make up their mind, unless you are really jonesing for some nachos you are better off looking elsewhere on the menu.
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Cornwall’s: Rock Me Like Hurricane Earl

5 Sep

When it’s birthday time, nothing can stop us from partying.  Not rain, nor wind, nor a hurricane expected to bring both.   Friday night found us out in Kenmore, rain/drinking boots on, doing our part to combat Hurricane Early by drinking enough hurricanes to lower him to just a tropical storm.  And it worked!  Celebratory nachos seemed to be in order, so we took a break from darts and charades at Cornwall’s to try out the ‘chos.

We’ve unofficially reviewed the nachos at Cornwall’s before and found them….less than satisfactory.  But if so, then time to put it on the books!  Without consulting their menu, we alerted our waitress to our desperate need for the house nachos (they don’t normally come with chili so we went without).

  • Appearance: (6) Certainly cheesy, with oozing white cheddar barely masking some tomatoes and serious jalapenos.  On the side in plastic cups, the holy trinity of nacho condiments: salsa, sour cream, and…..queso dip? Huh??
  • Quality of Ingredients: (5) The melted white cheddar was delicious on top.  The salsa and queso….not so much.  The cheese sauce was barely even warmed!  Had we wanted to pour it over it would have been nothing but a big glob.  Salsa was nothing distinctive, chips likewise.  The black pepper on top was inspired.  So simple, yet so delicious!
  • Distribution of Toppings: (5) There was a ton of cheese on top but nothing on the lower layers.  It suddenly becomes clear: the double-cheese is deliberate, knowing that we’ll get bored with the naked chips underneath and need something to dip them in.  Why not just skip the queso altogether and just divide the cheese into two layers? Efficiency, people!
  • Price: (4) Since we flagged down a waitress and hollered for nachos rather than seeing the menu first, we knew that a lot would depend on the price.  And…$9? Without chili or chicken or anything?  Talk about a shock!
  • Overall: 20/40.  We always forget that this place has food…and for good reason.  A great place to get your drink on but the nachos are a total waste of money.

The Coolidge Corner Clubhouse: The Thermonuclear Nacholocaust; or, Jenga!

3 Mar

dsc031941Nacho Patrol believes in good service and moderately attentive bartenders. Nacho Patrol believes in cleanliness and general friendliness. Nacho Patrol believes in un-skunked beer and clean taps. In our previous experiences, we found that the Coolidge Corner Clubhouse had none of these things. After a few semi-to-seriously disastrous experiences here, we had vowed never to return. But we believe in one thing above all, and that is nachos. We felt that it was our duty to give the CCC a final chance at redemption, via their oft-mentioned nachos. Although we entered the CCC with trepidation, we were determined to keep an open mind. And while certain things did impress us (the draft list and Heather, our ever-patient waitress, who put up with us spilling drinks, breaking glasses, and generally making a huge mess like a bunch of drunk toddlers), the nachos proved to be a disaster.

  • Appearance: (6) As these nachos approached the table, we shrunk back in horror, fearing for their structural integrity. Never before have we encountered such a precarious stack of chips. The plate was far too small for the amount piled on top of it. The chips were probably intended to be tri-colored, but ended up being 90% white, 7% red, and 3% this weird, light greyish-violet. Due to the structure of the stack and the color scheme of the chips, we soon discovered that eating these nachos bears a striking resemblance to a game of Jenga– could you manage to extract a chip without causing enough damage to start an avalanche? (We also discovered that after several hours of drinking, shouting “JENGA!!” every time you take a chip does not get old).
  • Quality of Ingredients: (5) The chips were house-made, and extremely greasy. The guacamole was clearly made with fresh avocados, but unfortunately, nothing else; there was no hint of lemon, spice, or anything to flavor them. The shredded cheese was for the most party properly melted, but it did tend to be greasy. The grease from the chips seemed to react to the cheese grease, separating the two and making it difficult to extricate a chip from the stack without leaving the cheese behind.  These nachos surpassed even Boston Beer Works in sheer greasiness, as evidenced by the following:
  • Distribution of Toppings: (3) before tonight, Nacho Patrol assumed that it was scientifically impossible to fit $14 worth of nachos on 6×8 inch plate. Now, this certain nacho patrolling party knows a few things about structural integrity–three engineers, a physicist, and two nacho experts. Yes, we came prepared for this particular bar. But nothing could prepare us for the shockingly precarious placement of these nachos. Stacked approximately half a foot high, they listed worse than the Titanic. The cheese was ample, but instead of even distribution, it was in two thick sheets that soon congealed into un-edibility. Case in point: dsc03198
  • Price: ( 7 ) big, but crappy. Just like our men.
  • Overall: 21/40. We gave these our all, but they quickly became inedible. Let down, we took out our frustration on them the only way that three engineers, two nacho experts and a physicist can: by tearing them to shreds and constructing a flag housing to fly over them in conquest.dsc03212

Once again, the Coolidge Corner Clubhouse disappoints. The coffin has been nailed shut, the ship has sailed, the fat lady has sung…CCC, you are officially on the “Dead to Us” list.