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Nacho Patrol’s Walk (Amble) For Hunger

29 Apr

A wise friend of ours once (poorly) paraphrased T.S. Elliot saying, “to eat a plate of nachos is the ultimate gluttony, especially the ones at Pour House.” He couldn’t have been more right.

We here at Nacho Patrol know a lot about gluttony. In our two and half years of life, we’ve soulfully consumed over 100 different types of nachos. Horrifying, we know. This weekend, we hope to do out part to fight hunger throughout Boston (and maybe burn off a few of those nachos) by doing the Walk For Hunger, and we would love your support. Think of it as our “gluttony offset”–like a carbon offset, but much less worldly. The 20 mile walk supports an incredible program called Project Bread, which works to provide healthy foods to families in need and to stock emergency food pantries throughout Boston.

If you’d like to support us (parents, we’re looking at you), please visit and click on “Make A Gift.” No proceeds will go to nachos. For the rest of you, check back Sunday for Twitter/blister updates!

Daily Nacho News: New Ideas, Old Words

19 Jan

The weather today may have been terrible, but the nacho news was good enough to keep us toasty warm all day. First of all, we’re happy to report that coin operated laundries continue to perpetuate (perpetrate?) the bad nacho curse. As writes, the number one thing you can do to build business at your coin-op laundry facility is to sell nachos. May we be the first to say, WTF?

Sell nachos — Yes, I’m serious. Your cost for each plastic cup and cheese with jalapeno peppers is about 36 cents. If you sell 200 orders per week, that’s about $17,000 a year net.

This makes us both depressed and excited. Clearly, what better way to spend your spin cycle than by packing your face with fake cheese? Then again, if you can think of a weirder place to serve nachos, we’ll give you five dollars in quarters to be used at your next laundering/nacho excursion.

Finally, from our “Old News That’s Actually Accurate and Enjoyable” series comes a post we found on the artfully named, TYWKIWDBI (“Things You Wouldn’t Know If We Didn’t Blog Intermittently”). It summarized an article by Adriana P. Orr about the history of nachos. Admittedly, Nacho studies (nachology?) is well-trod arena, but this 1999 essay from the Oxford English Dictionary newsletter gives an interesting account of the process of verifying, dating, antedating, and finally defining a word. If that word happens to be “nacho,” it’s even more exciting. It’s a great article, especially if you appreciate big words, old news, and deeply trivial scholarly pursuits. If you’re feeling lazy, however, we can sum it up with this, drawn from 1949’s A Taste of Texas:

“Pedro left. Sometime later he returned carrying a large dish of Nachos Especiales. ‘These Nachos,’ said Pedro, ‘will help El Capitan—he will soon forget his troubles for nachos make one romantic.'”


Lunch Time Nachos

1 Dec

As evidenced by our sad shortage of updates and our disrespectfully sporadic Twitter feed, we here at actually have jobs. How the rest of the blogging world manages to work full-time and still have time to write and promote their work is still a mystery to us. The best we can do is dump turkey on fancy chips, eat it, and then pass out on the couch. But just because don’t have time to review nachos, doesn’t mean we don’t want them…

That’s why we’re starting a new “Lunchoble” (Lunch+Nachos+Edible) series, focusing on all the nachos one can purchase, eat, and regret in under 45 minutes. To distinguish these reviews from our regular behemoths, we’re going to rate on looks (are they pretty or cobbled together?), structural integrity (can you take them to go and are they the right size for a lunch appetite?), deliciousness (do they sate your burning need for ‘chos?), and lunchability (are they, like us, cheap and easy?). Scores will be out of 20, with 5 total points awarded in each category.

Our first reviews will favor Boston’s Theatre District. If you work down here, you know just how dismal the Mexican food situation actually is (though we haven’t yet given up on finding nachos in China Town). Hopefully amidst all those cemeteries and college students who don’t understand sidewalks, we’ll strike gold.