Layover Nachos: Green Card Required

15 Jun

Three days. This patroller went three days in Arizona without anyone questioning her ethnicity. It was in La Taberna tequilaria, at “America’s friendliest airport” in Phoenix, AZ, that this patroller let a little Mexican show. That’s right. I ordered nachos.

The Arizona state troopers descended on my bar stool like maggots on a corpse in the desert. After an abusive verbal assault and a thorough examination of both my U.S. passport and my personals, they “let me off with a warning.” And I continued on to the task at hand: delivering reliable, objective nacho reviews to the fine illegal-immigrant Mexicans of Boston.

Appearance (6): while the picture likens them to a mirage in the Arizona desert, these chips had a great combo of color, featuring tri-colored chips, bi-colored cheese, and glistening mounds of sour cream and guac. Problems: plastic containers for the salsa? What self-respecting traveler to Arizona doesn’t like salsa? Also, a glaring lack of jalapeños.

Quality of Ingredients (8): perfectly melted cheese, sparkling salt crystals visible on the chips, delicious guac. Also, mad props for the black beans. The salsa was a little runny.

Distribution of Toppings (8): there were maybe two dry chips on the whole concoction. But I had to distribute the salsa. Myself. What is this, Tiajuana?

Value (8): Phoenix has a litany of delicious, inexpensive Mexican food. Still, at $8.95, this was a reasonable airport find.

Overall (30): this patroller is probably moving to Phoenix.

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