Emergencheese Alert Service

21 May

Dear Readers:

After our recent super-clot-forming exposé of Taco Bell’s Volcano Nachos, we seem to have created a monster in the industry at large. Today, at 2300, Nacho Patrol discovered that Qdoba, the hands-down champion of fast food nachos, has released a miniaturized version of their 3-cheese nachos in response to our writer’s intrepidity (or in response to their nacho-loyal customers rapidly expanding waist size… our analysts are still verifying the exact cause). The new menu item is part of Qdoba’s sneaky choose-2 menu, which lets the A.D.D. portion of our noms-selection-mechanism run wild for a mere $0.50 over the average cost of their entrees. (I made those financial figures up.) This revelation poses the following questions:

This is my new desktop background... and I don't mean the JPG.1) Knowing that a single chip was never laid to waste under the full size of the 3-cheese nacho portion, will this new era of dual-selection actually satisfy our cravings while minimizing the number of calories we  must intake for that purpose, or will it simply leave us craving more?

2) Are such high concentrations of flavor even SAFE for their plastic non-microwavable to-go containers?

3) How did Mexico acquire a miniaturizer, and when will I be able to smuggle one in to my apartment?

We did learn two important things from our review. First, the smaller portion is absolutely as delicious as the larger. Second, somehow the “number 2” of the choose-2 combination seemed like a real “number 2” by comparison. Next time, our “choose-2” will consist of 2 half-orders of nachos. Surprise.



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