St. Patty’s Day at Cornwalls: A few not-so-surprising thoughts RE: corned beef and jalepenos

22 Mar

We are FAR too lazy to review nachos these days. Spring is in the air and the last thing we want to do is continue to pad our abs with globs of cheese. But since we’re in Boston, we couldn’t pass up the chance to venture into the bowels of Kenmore Square in hopes of finding some quality Irish nachos this last St. Patrick’s Day. The beer was green, the Jameson was neat, and the Drop Kick Murphy’s were playing somewhere. Sadly, if there were nachos in the area, they were not forthcoming, and we were forced to take matters into our own hands at Cornwall’s Pub.

First and foremost, we were under the impression that Cornwall’s didn’t have nachos. Many a night when we were looking to do some quality sloshin’ and noshin’, we confirmed with some now-MIA companions that Cornwall’s didn’t do nachos. They do darts and board games and occasionally a drunk Dean of Student, but not nachos. We’d made peace with that. And then someone tells us they have nachos–and not just normal nachos, but nachos with genuine Velveeta-esque cheese sauce! That was something we needed to know about years ago! Judging from our other encounters with queso-ed nachos, a formal review of Cornwall’s nachos probably won’t go very well, but the prospect of finally finishing off the Kenmore bars gets us all worked up.

But that’s not what we’re here to talk about today. Today, we need to make a public service announcement.

As always, please disregard the photo quality. Alcohol, green food coloring, and dim lighting were factors. These are Cornwall’s normal nachos, except in our desperation to bring the luck of the Irish to our obsession, we elected to order them with corned beef. Great idea, right? A great idea until you remember that the following things don’t go well with corned beef: velveeta, sour cream, salsa, white cheese, and (most importantly) jalepenos. Individually, we enjoy all of these things. Together, it was a little bit of a disaster….a disaster which we nonetheless consumed with childlike glee/drunk munchies.

Now, if we were to make the perfect Irish nacho, it would include some sort of potato based chip substitute (potato chips or potato skins for instance), a cabbage slaw of some persuasion, some cheesy binder, and a pile of perfectly prepared, perhaps shredded, corned beef. It would not, despite what this website suggests, contain anything vaguely Tex-Mex. Shockingly, those two flavors just don’t mix.

We’ll be keeping that in mind for the next St. Patty’s Day. In the mean time, keep a keen eye out for our upcoming, very professional, well-planned, never drunk Official Review of Cornwall’s nachos.

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