Nacho Patrol are world travelers, and when we’re holed up in airports, we like to drink and eat nachos. While waiting for a very delayed flight to LAX, we sidled up to the Tequileria located in Terminal G–the trendiest bar in town if you consider the competition: Chili’s to-go and a McDonalds.
A staple of just about every major airport from Minneapolis to Miami, the Tequileria offers a wide selection of off-tasting Tex-Mex and drink deals ($3 tequila back for a $5 beer? Lurv it!). And if you like a margarita as much as our dear friend Smasharita, you’re likely to be in alcoholic aviation heaven. Unfortunately, the cheap drinks are just about all you’ll want to enjoy. As a note, the photo for this review will be posted later after the airline finds our luggage:
- Appearance: (9) as pretty as a picture–enough to even make the waitress squee in delight. It sported a nice arrangement of orange cheese, bright fresh tomatoes and green onions, cups of salsa and guac, and a blinding dollop of sour cream. Nothing, of course, is perfect, and these nachos didn’t quite make our mouth water with anticipation as Pour House’s–our gold standard–did.
- Distribution: (6) Tequileria has a major distribution problem. Under that place mat of cheese and beans and chicken (however accidental the chicken was), the chips were completely nude. Not even a bean or a drop of cheese or sour cream. Nacho Patrol isn’t much for math, but they would give a solid estimate of 30% coverage, with another 30% touched by the light of toppings and the rest completely naked! We also didn’t much approve of the plastic cups of salsa and guacamole.
- Quality of toppings: (6) It’s unfortunate that restaurants still insist on putting chicken on nachos despite the less-than-delicious oral experience. For lack of a better word, it always just tastes weird, and this is coming from a Nacho Patrol that loves her some words. It’s dry and strangely spiced, and it certainly doesn’t help the
- Price: (6) Though Nacho Patrol still isn’t sure if the accidental chicken was complementary, Tequileria’s prices were fairly average, a large plate setting the hungry traveler back $8.95 sans carne, $9.99 for chicken, beans, pork, or beef, and an extra $1.29 for 2 tablespoons of guacamole.
- Overall: 27/40
Mobile Nacho Patroling is the clearly the way of the future. Expect another, possibly drunker, review 2,000 miles away from scenic LAX. Just don’t expect us to be indulging in this particular tequila chain again any time soon.
Edit: We looked. There are no nachos to be had in LAX Terminal 2, gates 22-28. Apparently, people from and traveling to New Zealand do not eat nachos.