A-Trixx, Nacho Patrol’s most recent displaced person, has long wondered about the nachos at a certain drinking, dining, and bowling institution in the Uptown region of Minneapolis. Back in the day, they had something called Sleeper Nachos, a perfect bowling compliment for the young adolescent looking to kick it with her homies. Now, some five years later, they’ve moved up a weight (and classiness) grade to the Big Four Nachos. Recruiting the help of her lifelong Mini-Apple amiga, G-Money, A-Trixx holla’d at some nachos, with unexpected results:
- Appearance: (9) Though she can’t speak for the rest of Nacho Patrol, A-Trixx hasn’t seen nachos these beautiful since Pour House. G-Money called them “fascinating” and “delightful,” and for obvious reasons! Decked out with peppers in all the colors of the Christmas rainbow, bright cheddar, and medley of beans, the mere sight of these nachos will dampen your mouth and, if you’re like the people that find our blog by googling porno, your loins.
- Distribution of toppings: (8) Even the most beautiful nacho will have some problems with distribution. As G-Money pointed out, “it’s all about layering,” and she just eats nachos casually! We had some naked chips, and with a naturally dry selection of toppings, little with which to cover them. Overall, there was enough cheese, bean, and pepper to give us much happy, though we would have liked a little more chicken.
- Quality of toppings: (9) Delicious on the whole, and probably about as close to specialty nachos as you can get while still being “bar nachos.” We loved the pepper and bean medleys, though the chicken was a little over-seasoned.
- Price: (4) Nacho Patrol takes personal offense when a not-so-big plate of nachos costs $13 without tip. Sure, they were delicious, but the size doesn’t quite stack up to the outrageous price tag. Surprisingly it pays to be a vegetarian–for $9 you can get your plate sans carne.
- Overall: 30/40 nom nom nom! Bryant Lake Bowl, you did us proud–just try lowering the price a little so us hipsters can afford the food!