Nacho Patrol likes places that serve nachos. However, Nacho Patrol also likes places that do not serve nachos, and wants to share them with the world. So today, we unveil a new feature: the fantasy nacho league. We take some of our favorite nacho-less haunts and try to imagine just how good their nachos could be, if they made them. The one rule: try to keep it within the general theme of the menu, incorporating some of the signature ingredients that make a place what it is. First up, Deep Ellum.
A welcome respite from the bromaldehyde poisoning that can often befall one in Allston, Deep Ellum is dark, cozy, and reeks of beer-geekitude. With a collection of draft and bottles leaning heavily towards the extreme and/or belgian, it’s not our dream beer bar, but the cocktails are damn tasty as well. The menu manages to combine nouveau-American gastronomy and cheap, retro hipster irony into a small collection of dishes that provide something for just about everyone. Nacho Patrol fell in love with the first bite of the truffled gorgonzola fries and has been in the honeymoon phase ever since.
The nachos: Given the dual nature of the rest of the menu, we would like to see two nacho options: basic classic, and a more gourmet twist. Deep Ellum already has chili on the menu, both on its own and over fries, so it’s a slam dunk to assume that it would grace the standard nachos as well. Since Deep Ellum is big into both interesting meats and cheeses as well as changing daily specials (The cheese and charcruterie plates rotate daily), we would like the second plate to rotate between a variety of more unconventional option. Chorizo and gouda? Raclette and prosciutto crudo? Sign us up!
Pita chips in lieu of tortilla are usually a signal of at least an attempt at upper-crustness. So while we wouldn’t like to see them in the standard nacho, they could work very well in the rotating plate.
We would expect the standard nachos to run $7-$8, and the specialty around $10. We wouldn’t mind paying extra for guacamole because we are pretty certain that Deep Ellum would make some downright delicious guac.
The ranking: The standard nachos would likely place in the top seven, though we doubt that they would be able to crack into the top three. The rotating special, though, would likely consistently reach the top of our specialty nacho rankings.