The Otherside Cafe: Double hipster, hold the cheese

23 Apr

Otherside1Let’s start by saying we have a love/hate relationship with the Other Side Cafe. Some of us hate it, some of us love it. They’ve got some good breakfast and if you’re one of those vegan hipster types who listens to awesome music that doesn’t even exist yet, you’ll be right at home. Every now and then they even have a good draft list. We (okay, one of us) had high hopes for their nachos. Not often do we get all P.E.T.A and eat veggie/vegan nachos (we went home and ate Shaws value-pack steak afterward to compensate), so we were excited to bring a little herbivorian diversity to our master list. But then we got the nachos…Other Side, unfortunately you’re not hip enough to get away with having such atrocious food (oh wait, as long as hipster pants keep cutting off the circulation to the communal, supercool, gearless-bike, hipster brain people will still flock to this dark, crowded, poorly serviced hellhole like it’s mecca).

  • Appearance: (4) A barren, bleak desert of wan chips, with a barely discernible sprinkling of dull-colored cheese. The twin oases of chili and guacamole were not nearly enough to make it hospitable.
  • Quality of Ingredients: (6) Guacamole was pretty good. There was so much of it we couldn’t finish it. Chili was…vegan. Depending on where you stand, that can be a good thing. However, we at Nacho Patrol like our protein less of the Textured Vegetable side and more on the slaughtered, ground and stewed side. Chips were standard, a bit oversalty. We honestly can’t comment on the cheese because there was so little of it.
  • Distribution of Toppings: (2) Uh, what distribution? Chili on the left, guacamole on the right (+2 for those of you who get the R. Kelley reference), suckiness all around. The cheese was practically nonexistent and what was there wasn’t even melted.
  • Price: (5) $8 for the basic, an extra $2 for guacamole. While we appreciate the ample serving of guac, we felt that these were overpriced on the whole. They even had the gall to charge $1 for sour cream! Egads!
  • Overall: 17. Otherside, step in to our office. We need to have a little chat. I know you think that you are too cool for school and all, but we need to drop some knowledge. You’ve heard of nachos, right? You know those things with layers of toppings spread over tortilla chips? Yeah, the key word there is LAYERS. Not piles. And cheese? Well, it’s sort of the foundation of nachos. MELTED CHEESE. You can’t just toss half a handful of unmelted cheddar on there and call it a day. I know you’re all about scoring brownie points with the dirty, sleeved, no-assed vegan fixie hipster crowd, but sometimes you need to pay respect to the canon and GIVE US SOME DECENT FUCKING NACHOS.

Much love,

Nachopatrol

PS. try again, bitch.Otherside2

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