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The Corrib Pub in Brookline: Patrollin’ Oldies

Now that we’ve safely surpassed our 100th review, we feel we’re finally fit to tackle Corrib Pub. Located just down the street from us, we had long written the Corrib off as the type of place our grandpas would frequent. Indeed, the beer and food were cheap, the taps shiny and copper, and the average clientele far past retirement age. Needless to say, we love us some old-school dives and were excited to learn first that they a) had nachos and b) that they’re $7. As a side note, they also have our favorite motto of any restaurant we’ve visited (“It’s like home, but with more taps”).

Appearance: (7.5) Colorful, but lacking the depth provided by yellow saturated chips and cheese. Something about it reminded us of a child’s crayon drawing: there’s a lot going on, but it seems unfinished and sophomoric (okay, a sophomore with a solid 3.8 GPA).
Quality of the toppings: (6) While we were impressed with the fresh ingredients (the tomatoes and onions in particular), the rest of the toppings left something to be desired. The overabundance of jarred salsa made it difficult to pick out other flavors, while the cheese was sticky and flavorless and the chips were a tad too salty. The chili tasted distinctly like taco seasoning (some of us liked it) and there was lettuce. To discuss our dislike of lettuce on nachos seems like beating a dead horse and we will instead refer to our friends at NachosNY for a full diatribe.
Distribution of the toppings: (6.5) Something is seriously wrong with the Corrib’s cheese. Melting into a near solid on the peripheral chips, the innards of these nachos were sadly naked. There wasn’t enough of either the chili or the cheese, and the seas of salsa drown out the remaining ingredients. Sour cream was on the side, which was just fine with us.
Price: (8.5) If the quality and distribution of the toppings brought the overall score down down, the price has to pull the whole plate back into the competition. $6.75 for a plate of nachos? Who cares how good they are–cheap prevails any day of the week.
Overall: 28.5/40. Kinda of like the Narragansett of Boston nachos: cheap, local, old school, not that great, but will suffice in a pinch.

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Categories Nacho Reviews

Breenbriar: The Great Sour Cream Flood of 2010; or, There and Back Again, A Brighton Nacho’s Tale

21 May

On a dark and stormy evening, three weary travelers made their way to the hamlet of Brighton Center, an as-of-yet undiscovered nacho destination. Their travels had been long and dangerous, including U-turns on North Beacon St., attempting to navigate with an iPhone and accidentally parking in a police station. Eager to rest and share the stories of their adventures (0ver margaritas), they settled into the local inn, Greenbriar. There, much merriment was had, but it had little to do with the nachos.

Appearance: (6) At first glance we thought that it was swamped in melted cheese, but that excitement turned to dismay when we realized that it was a large glob of sour cream, our arch-nemesis. Plenty of green, though incidentally, none of it was guacamole. In general, nachos with chicken instead of chili tend to lack some punch in the color department, and these were no exception. Even tri-colored chips would have helped.
Quality of Ingredients: (6) Opinions were divided on the chicken, some finding it moist and juicy and others bone dry. We came to the conclusion that it must have been from two different batches, because it did vary wildly in consistency. Overall though, it was flavorful and spicy. The salsa was more spiced than fresh, but we still enjoyed it. The cheese, when found, was quite tasty even when not entirely melted.
Distribution of Toppings: (5) Whatever good intentions the chef had with these nachos, they were ruined by the veritable blanket of sour cream on top. We’ve gone on about our loathing for our least favorite nacho ingredient before (or rather our second least favorite, after the dreaded iceberg lettuce), but this was out of control. We scraped, spooned, and even peeled off cheese in order to rid ourselves of this menace, but to little avail. One bad apple may spoil the barrel, but not all distribution decisions have the power to ruin a plate of nachos; this one did.
Price: (7) Average, average, average at $10.
Overall: 24/40. Every once in a while, we stop to wonder why we do what we do. Why do we subject ourselves to nachos that we don’t even like, when we know we could do better? Requesting sour cream on the side could have saved many a plate of nachos, but somehow we just can’t bring ourselves to do it. We aim to review nachos for what they are, as the kitchen intended, in the hopes that no one makes that same mistake. Nacho Patrol: We eat bad nachos so you don’t have to.

Having found little comfort in their nachos, they continued on their journey…

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St. Patty’s Day at Cornwalls: A few not-so-surprising thoughts RE: corned beef and jalepenos

22 Mar

We are FAR too lazy to review nachos these days. Spring is in the air and the last thing we want to do is continue to pad our abs with globs of cheese. But since we’re in Boston, we couldn’t pass up the chance to venture into the bowels of Kenmore Square in hopes of finding some quality Irish nachos this last St. Patrick’s Day. The beer was green, the Jameson was neat, and the Drop Kick Murphy’s were playing somewhere. Sadly, if there were nachos in the area, they were not forthcoming, and we were forced to take matters into our own hands at Cornwall’s Pub.

First and foremost, we were under the impression that Cornwall’s didn’t have nachos. Many a night when we were looking to do some quality sloshin’ and noshin’, we confirmed with some now-MIA companions that Cornwall’s didn’t do nachos. They do darts and board games and occasionally a drunk Dean of Student, but not nachos. We’d made peace with that. And then someone tells us they have nachos–and not just normal nachos, but nachos with genuine Velveeta-esque cheese sauce! That was something we needed to know about years ago! Judging from our other encounters with queso-ed nachos, a formal review of Cornwall’s nachos probably won’t go very well, but the prospect of finally finishing off the Kenmore bars gets us all worked up.

But that’s not what we’re here to talk about today. Today, we need to make a public service announcement.

As always, please disregard the photo quality. Alcohol, green food coloring, and dim lighting were factors. These are Cornwall’s normal nachos, except in our desperation to bring the luck of the Irish to our obsession, we elected to order them with corned beef. Great idea, right? A great idea until you remember that the following things don’t go well with corned beef: velveeta, sour cream, salsa, white cheese, and (most importantly) jalepenos. Individually, we enjoy all of these things. Together, it was a little bit of a disaster….a disaster which we nonetheless consumed with childlike glee/drunk munchies.

Now, if we were to make the perfect Irish nacho, it would include some sort of potato based chip substitute (potato chips or potato skins for instance), a cabbage slaw of some persuasion, some cheesy binder, and a pile of perfectly prepared, perhaps shredded, corned beef. It would not, despite what this website suggests, contain anything vaguely Tex-Mex. Shockingly, those two flavors just don’t mix.

We’ll be keeping that in mind for the next St. Patty’s Day. In the mean time, keep a keen eye out for our upcoming, very professional, well-planned, never drunk Official Review of Cornwall’s nachos.