El Tour Del Nacho » cheese sauce

Vito’s Tavern: Leave the Gun, Take the Nachos

Nachopatrol — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 23:58:09 +0000

We normally avoid the North End like overpriced, overtouristed area should be avoided, but also because even if we did manage to find Italian nachos, they would probably be terrible. After a mediocre experience at Anchovies and a downright disastrous attempt at making our own pizza-inspired ‘chos, we had little hope. But hunger goes hand in hand with poor judgement, so we found ourselves at the semi-new Vito’s Tavern in the North End, to try their ‘Bruzzese Sausage nachos, with “the usual.”

Appearance: (8) Ooze is the name of the game here, as we immediately spot the double-team of cheese AND cheese sauce. Red-white-green toppings were very appropriate, considering the neighborhood.
Quality of Ingredients: (7) Even without our most cheese-sauce-friendly correspondent in tow, we had good things to say about the cheese sauce. It was right on the border of homemade-or-not, enough so that we still aren’t sure if it was from a can or the kitchen. The chips were also debatably made in-house. Guacamole was fresh, heavy on the red onion, and the salsa was more of a pico of fresh veggies. We enjoyed the Italian sausage, though larger pieces might have made a bigger impact on the palate.
Distribution of Toppings: (8) Vito’s employed a distribution tactic we had never seen before– a layer of black beans on the bottom of the plate, but nowhere else. We found this a little odd until we considered that the beans elevated the chips enough to keep them from getting totally sodden in cheese sauce. Was this intentional? Unknown, but it did work. As could be expected, the combination of cheese and queso sauce left practically no chip untouched.
Price: (8) At $11, these provided an ample amount of heart-stopping goodness for two people.
Overall: 31/40. These were more Italian-inspired than a direct translation, earning them a place in the Best of Boston rather than the Specialty Nacho category. But who cares? They were pretty darn tasty. We are curious to come back and try the vegetarian nachos, with roasted and sauteed veggies.

Orleans: Idaho Nachos; or White Trash-os, Part Deux

Nachopatrol — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 14:37:24 +0000

We should have know what we were getting ourselves into when our waiter at Orleans (Davis Square) actually cautioned us that the Idaho Nachos came with an American cheese spread rather than traditional queso sauce. Usually we only expect puffer fish to come with a disclaimer, but apparently Orleans thinks these nachos are just as deadly. Probably because they have the nutritional information.

Awhile back, we invented the life-shortening sodium spree known as The White Trash-os. Using Fritos, hot dogs, pork & beans, and jarred queso sauce, we assassinated our arteries while bringing back those oh-so-pleasant memories of family trips to the Ozarks. Orleans’ “Idaho Nachos” might be the slightly higher class version of those (and we really mean only slightly): potato chips, soaked with “an American cheese spread,” and drizzled with bacon bits, tomatoes, and green onions.

Appearance: (8) Low-end never looked so haute cuisine! Beautifully plated in a large bowl with colorful confetti of garnishes, these caught us off guard with their loveliness.
Quality of toppings: (3.5) We can’t legally give a score over 4 for any dish that has “an American cheese spread,” though since we were expecting it, the whole experience seemed marginally better. While we kind of like the understated quality of the sauce, it wasn’t strong enough to be the main feature of the dish and we really needed some other element to pump up the flavors and give us an experience other than salty. The bacon added a kick–a nice kick of carbon, as it was completely overcooked. All of that processed goodness left us fighting for the spare tomatoes and green onions on the plate. The real problem here, however, was the chips which were initially stale tasting and toward the end soggy and greasy. Not a good progression!
Distribution of toppings: (6) Cheese sauce has notoriously good distribution, starting out on the top layer and slowly soaking its way to the bottom to fully coat everything. But even that couldn’t help the sad lack of toppings or central focus.
Price: (9) Ah, Somerville…Leave the Boston/Cambridge area, and suddenly, a plate of nachos costs $8. What a cheesy, greasy steal!
Overall: 26.5/40

We appreciate a restaurant that will take a risk on a specialty nacho, but we probably won’t order these again. Idaho Nachos or Irish Nachos are a great idea, but this particular plate just wasn’t inspired. Give us one more strong ingredient that compliments the cheese sauce rather than puts it front-and-center, and we’ll talk again.

Jalapenos: Our House South of the Border

Nachopatrol — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 01:35:35 +0000

Do you remember a scant 29 months ago when we questioned the strange allure of Our House West (in case you don’t, you can get nostalgic here and here)? That “den of vice, iniquity, and many a lost Tuesday night” kept us coming back week after week despite its many, often very apparent, flaws. Sure, the nachos weren’t that good, but they had board games and curly fries. It was like college, but sexier.

Reader, in recent months you may have noticed a painful cry rushing away from the dingy streets of Allston. Have you paused to listen to that sad moan hanging in the wind? Have you heard it whisper, “Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuddddde…..I looooooovvvvveeee yooooooooouuuuu” and then vomit? Well, that’s just the ghosts of the recently deceased Our House West fleeing that immortalized basement to make room for the bright and beautifully whitewashed Jalepenos. Ditching our mourning shrouds and bolstering our spirits with thoughts of Mexican food, we headed back down that well trod road to Our House–I mean Jalapenos.

Appearance: (6) Segregation was ruled unconstitutional years ago, but Jalapenos missed that. One half entirely cheese and veggies, the other split between pico and a torrent of jalapeno peppers? It didn’t make a lot of sense to us. Also, the cheese sauce had a very suspiciously too-orange color…
Quality of Ingredients: (7) The homemade chips here are good, and while the salsa is more like pico de gallo, it was fresh and bright tasting. The veggies were large, well-seasoned chunks of roasted zucchini, summer squash and eggplant. The cheese sauce was…cheese sauce. We had been hoping for something along the lines of Border’s queso dip, but this unfortunately had more in common with Velveeta.
Distribution of Toppings: (6) Does anyone really need that many jalapenos? Really? We scraped them off and they filled a whole appetizer plate. The cheese sauce got so cold that it formed a skin and didn’t properly coat the chips.
Price: (7) We’re pretty sure these were in the $10 range–so average, it’s not worth discussing.
Overall: (26/40) Jalepenos may have upgraded the decor, but sadly not the nachos. Tying with the Our House West re-review, we’re unsure why the cheese sauce on the nachos was different from the queso dip on the menu and why they found it necessary to douse the whole plate in jalepenos. Was it an edible homage to their name???? Genius!

Saying goodbye to Our House West was hard, but it’s nice to see the space growing up with us. And no matter what, we still have our memories–or rather, hazy drunken recollections of questionable decisions gone by.

Sapphire Restaurant and Bar in Mumbai, India: Nachomasté

Nachopatrol — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 11:21:55 +0000

Q: What do they call Indian food in India?

A: Food!

If you are heading to India you’d better like Indian food, for aside from some rather bastardized Chinese menu additions and the ubiquitous Domino’s Pizza chain, the local fare is about all that you can get. Our hopes for finding nachos on the Indian sub-continent were nearly extinguished when, on the very last day, we found them right under our nose at our hotel’s restaurant, Sapphire. The Nachoes (sp) were described as “Tortilla chips tossed in cheese sauce”. Would they be tasty? Would the cheese sauce be made of paneer? Would we live to tell the tale?

Appearance: (5) Not a lot of color going on, but the sprinkling of chopped chilies, scallions and black olives (!) added a nice flair.
Quality of Ingredients: (6) The chips, while not homemade, were surprisingly fresh– we’ve had many much staler versions in the states, where tortilla chips are available on every corner. There was both cheese sauce and a type of cheese on these nachos, and both tasted a little processed. The cheese sauce, however, with the addition of the chopped peppers, was delightfully spicy.
Distribution of Toppings: (8) The cheese sauce once again saved the day in distribution, getting everywhere. In fact, there was too much sauce for the chips, and we polished it off the bottom of the dish with spoons.
Price: (6) 130 rupees at the current exchange rate makes these around $3.10. They were pretty tiny, and coming from a country where a huge, delicious thali can be had for under $2 perhaps a bit overpriced. But considering their rareness, and that these prevented us from having to go into downtown Mumbai to hit up the Ruby Tuesday’s, we don’t regret the expense.
Overall: 25/40. While we would have loved to find some Indian nachos made from Indian ingredients, this slightly spiced-up American version hit the spot for a light nacho craving.

Trader ‘Chos: A Nacho Patrol Original

Nachopatrol — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 00:42:02 +0000

Who among us does not love Trader Joe’s, that ubiquitous purveyor of cheap wine and delectable slightly-exotic foodstuffs? TJ’s is often our go-to source for nacho ingredients, as they offer a much more varied selection of chips, cheeses and salsas than your average grocery store. But we’ve always known that there is potential for much, much more. In this latest installment of Nacho Patrol Originals, we head to Trader Joe’s in search of specialty nacho inspiration and end up creating one of our best nachos yet.

One thing was certain: we were looking to go a little more upscale from our last nacho experiment (not really that hard to do). We first picked out brie cheese and the rest fell into place: prosciutto, arugula, apple and sweet potato chips:

Prep time on these nachos was surprisingly brief. Once the apples and prosciutto were chopped, we whipped up a quick bechamel and stirred in the brie until melted to create a cheese sauce and aid in distribution. We combined the sweet potato chips with plain pita chips to provide the base layer:

Layer with apples and prosciutto:

and commence liberal application of cheese sauce.

(note: more cheese sauce applied after this photo was taken.)

Pop that baby in a 350 degree oven for about 7 minutes to warm things up and make sure the brie sauce is extra viscous. Once it’s out, the finishing touch (that really qualifies these nachos as foofy): a dusting of arugula. And consume!

We loved these nachos: the sweet potato chips held up admirably, the brie was perfectly melty, the sweetness of the apple and saltiness of the prosciutto played well off each other, and the arugula added a lovely fresh bite. Perhaps in the future we will get more adventurous with the apple, turning it into some sort of salsa. The creation of a cheese sauce has opened up new worlds for us, imagining all sorts of pairings with cheese that normally don’t melt well enough for nachos. This one’s a keeper!

Wine note: these nachos pair well with a nice 2009 Charles Shaw Sauvingnon Blanc.

Cornwall’s: Rock Me Like Hurricane Earl

Nachopatrol — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 01:18:27 +0000

When it’s birthday time, nothing can stop us from partying. Not rain, nor wind, nor a hurricane expected to bring both. Friday night found us out in Kenmore, rain/drinking boots on, doing our part to combat Hurricane Early by drinking enough hurricanes to lower him to just a tropical storm. And it worked! Celebratory nachos seemed to be in order, so we took a break from darts and charades at Cornwall’s to try out the ‘chos.

We’ve unofficially reviewed the nachos at Cornwall’s before and found them….less than satisfactory. But if so, then time to put it on the books! Without consulting their menu, we alerted our waitress to our desperate need for the house nachos (they don’t normally come with chili so we went without).

Appearance: (6) Certainly cheesy, with oozing white cheddar barely masking some tomatoes and serious jalapenos. On the side in plastic cups, the holy trinity of nacho condiments: salsa, sour cream, and…..queso dip? Huh??
Quality of Ingredients: (5) The melted white cheddar was delicious on top. The salsa and queso….not so much. The cheese sauce was barely even warmed! Had we wanted to pour it over it would have been nothing but a big glob. Salsa was nothing distinctive, chips likewise. The black pepper on top was inspired. So simple, yet so delicious!
Distribution of Toppings: (5) There was a ton of cheese on top but nothing on the lower layers. It suddenly becomes clear: the double-cheese is deliberate, knowing that we’ll get bored with the naked chips underneath and need something to dip them in. Why not just skip the queso altogether and just divide the cheese into two layers? Efficiency, people!
Price: (4) Since we flagged down a waitress and hollered for nachos rather than seeing the menu first, we knew that a lot would depend on the price. And…$9? Without chili or chicken or anything? Talk about a shock!
Overall: 20/40. We always forget that this place has food…and for good reason. A great place to get your drink on but the nachos are a total waste of money.

Tremont 647: Terrifically Tantalizing $2 Taco Tuesday

Nachopatrol — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 01:42:02 +0000

Tremont 647 has always been one of our favorite restaurants in the South End, and we have frequently mourned their general lack of nachos. It’s not surprising that the neighborhood is a little barren of our favorite food, but then again, the upscale joints in the area are not the type where one would expect to find nachos. But we had always nursed a little hope because Tremont 647, with it’s hip-but-not-too-hip atmosphere, somewhat focus on Mexican flavors, and general lack of pretentiousness, seemed like just the type of place that might surprise us. And it did! On a recent $2 Taco Tuesday, we were thrilled to find these on the menu: “Ymar’s Famous Turkey Nachos” with three cheeses, beans, pickled jalapenos and guacamole.

Appearance: (9) To paraphrase the loud regulars at the bar, “FAAAAAAAAHHHHBULOUS!”
Quality of Ingredients: (9) Within a few bites we could tell that every single ingredient on these was homemade, which is a rare experience. The chips were thin, crisp and salty, and the guacamole delicious. The turkey chili spoke assertively of its main ingredient, which gave it a distinctiveness in an arena where such is rare. The cheese sauce was the only questionable ingredient: while it added a welcome lightness to these nachos, it was not extremely cheesy and had a bit of a gritty texture. Because there was no mention of it in the description, we assumed that the white dollop on top was sour cream, so imagine our delight when it turned out to be a spicy yet refreshing chipotle-lime cream! This was one of the highlights of these nachos, evidencing that this restaurant goes out of its way not to cut corners.
Distribution of Toppings: (8.5) We soon resorted to forks because the chips, especially in the center and bottom of the dish, were so drenched in toppings. The cheese sauce, per its nature, aided in the distribution. Despite this barrage of succulence, the chips stayed moderately crisp to the last.
Price: (8) Not bad at $10, which is even better when offset by the delicious $2 tacos we had for the main course.
Overall: 34.5. Not only your best bet for nachos in the South End, one of the best nachos in Boston.

Take heed though, these are only available on the special Tuesday menu. So next week, fight through the crowd, elbow out some space at the bar, order yourself up a specialty margarita (we recommend the strawberry-rhubarb!) and get friendly with these nachos. Ymaris Matias, the “Chief Executive Officer of Tacos” according to menu, has got a definite handle on the nacho division as well.

Volcano-No and the American Psyche

Nachopatrol — Thu, 20 May 2010 14:16:55 +0000

Taco Bell’s Volcano Nachos are not your average hate-to-love-it dish. When every fiber of your being fights against that first bite, you know you’re supposed to listen. And you know that first chip will just sell your soul back to the depths of Fast Food hell… at least until the last scrap of chip has been used to scoop up that plasticky cheese straight into the narrowing arteries of your body.

To prevent you from ever doing it again, Nacho Patrol bit this tough bullet with a breakdown of Taco Bell’s “super-spicy” insult to the culinary heaven of nachos. Loathe are we to include a few nutritional facts, but with the temptation of $3.50 nachos looming in the outskirts of Boston, we think it’s for your own good. It’s the only item on the Taco Bell menu with a four-digit calorie value at a delicate, even thousand. It’s also one of only 5 items with over 1900mg of sodium. Finally (the faint of heart may want to skip this), it’s the menu-topper for total fat at 62 grams.

Appearance: (7) Unnaturally bright and beautiful colors, but grease-laden chips makes for a mixed bag.

Quality of Ingredients: (6) Now, our readers know we love salt (we may tend to sprinkle it on our toothpaste just to get our first dose in the morning) but this is salty overkill. There’s no REAL part of a cow that grinds into the symmetric round balls that they claim is ground beef. The cheese sauce is instantly a noticeably hindering presence in your veins. The veggies are surprisingly flavorful.

Distribution: (7) The pile of ingredients on top leaves dry chips underneath, but there’s still plenty of topping to go around. You may even get a nasty hardened pool of cheese at the bottom if you’re lucky.

Price: (1) For the damage a patroller is doing to her taste buds, her girlish figure, her life expectancy, and her self-respect, the price of these nachos definitely needs to be more deterring.

Overall: (21) Taco Bell, we hate to love you for our late-night, dirty nacho fixes that leave us saddened and bewildered the next morning. You are a patrollers ultimate date rape, and we never want to see you again (but let’s face it…).

Nachos To-Go: Mystery Solved!

Nachopatrol — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 01:35:37 +0000

Ah, the age-old problem. It’s Thursday night, 9pm. You’re wandering alone in Kenmore Square, dodging cars on one side and panhandlers on the other. You’re hungry, but not for any old snack. You want something crispy and spicy, drenched in cheese and oozing with pinto beans. A quiet Qdoba stands to your right. The chicken nachos call out to you, their sweet embrace dancing in a whisper on the wind. You have your hand on the door, but wait! A problem! You don’t want to dine in the restaurant–you didn’t bring a book and you don’t want to seem so lonesome. But your home, your own Nacho Patrol World Headquarters, is some twenty minutes away. By the time you get your nachos home, the chips will be soggy, the queso cold, the shredded cheese oily and congealed.

Qdoba, however, understands your pain. Which is why they now separate the chips from the toppings when you choose to take away. Here’s what Nacho Patrol found in the bag once they made it home:

A bag of chips

Plus….

A bowl of goopy toppings

Equals….

Innovation

We’re pretty sure this is going to revolutionize not only the way that we eat food at home, but more centrally, how our generation, and countless generations to come, will be able to get out of bed in the morning and face the day. The time for suffering has ended, my friends, the coffin to the soggy chip closed and nailed shut. Grab a Corona and a bottle of Tums–it’s time to Rejoice!

Applebee’s: Chain, Chain, Chaaaaaiiiiiin……Chain of Foooooools……

Nachopatrol — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 00:01:25 +0000

Recent heavy rains and flooding in New England have wrecked havoc on the area and frankly, made us a little crazy. On the umpteenth evening of deluge, our primitive survival instincts took over and drove us to the nearest high ground, which happened to be the end of the C line. There, remembering the good times we one had eating chain restaurant nachos, we holed up in Applebee’s and awaited the rainpocalypse with their Chili Cheese Nachos. This proved to be fateful error. Were this a zombie movie, we would have died in the 35 minutes, crouched, trembling in a corner of the kitchen clutching a meat cleaver, only to be mauled from behind by the chef, now undead, exiting the walk-in freezer. Fortunately for us, life does not imitate George Romero, and while we left poorer, fatter and grumpier, we made it out alive.

Hope is the thing with cheese sauce...

...That gets dashed upon the first bite.

Appearance: (5) Salad gone wrong.
Quality of Ingredients: (3) The chips were horribly stale, which ruined the whole nacho experience. It doesn’t matter how good the toppings are, bad chips sink the ship, and these nachos had nothing helping to keep them afloat. We didn’t realize that the term “chili cheese” was literal– the two ingredients were mixed into a wan, watery concoction that was much less than the sum of its parts. We almost appreciated the sour cream on top, so you KNOW it was bad. Sad lettuce on top just added to the misery.
Distribution of Toppings: (6) Cheese sauce adds viscosity, but there were still naked chips. We could have really used some guacamole or some heartier chili, or delivery from Roggies.
Price: (6) Sizeable, but regrettable for $8.69.
Overall: 20/40. No. Just no.

If you needed any more reasons to avoid Applebee’s, they somehow felt that a green olive is the appropriate garnish for their “Perfect Margarita”.

Fish out of tequila

Applebee’s, we’re kicking you off the ark.