Cheap beer « El Tour Del Nacho

Tag Archives: Cheap beer

Roggies: Cleveland (Circle) Rocks!

The nachos of Cleveland Circle have so far not been kind to us. CitySide (hereby dubbed ShittySide by Nacho Guest Patroler and Cleveland Circle resident Rox Con) was a gross disappointment, and we have yet to muster the fortitude to venture into the soul-crushing corporate abyss of that is Applebee’s (although considering how surprisingly well our other chain restaurant review went, we may want to suck it up and go sometime soon). There was one last beacon of hope on the horizon, and that was Roggies; but from the get go, things seemed grim. Despite the bouncer outside, the average age inside appeared to be 19; and the brims of baseball caps veered off at all sorts of angles, each douchier than the last. Yes, our Douchebag-O-Meters were going off the charts as the BC bros caroused over scorpion bowls and beer towers, at their first stop in a long night likely leading to slipping that special someone a roofie at Mary Ann’s. Even the rest of the menu looked dubious–raw oysters? Rainbow trout*, meaning of asterisk undetermined? Somehow, Roggies managed to transcend all of these portends and produce (could it be??!) good nachos!

Appearance: (8.5) An array of colors and textures, that upon closer examination revealed far more toppings than originally expected. We’re taking off an extra half point for the plastic containers (not pictured) of salsa, sour cream and guacamole– how gauche!
Quality of Ingredients: (8) Let’s play a game called, “Rarely Seen Ingredients In The Boston Nacho Scene.” Black olives? Check. Kidney beans? You betcha. A fresh vegetable that is not part of the salsa? Say no more! While everything else (chips, cheese, chili, guac) was good, it was the little details that pushed these nachos over the top.
Distribution of Toppings: (9) Massive amounts of melted cheese can never hurt, and while there were some naked chips, there was plenty of use for them, scooping up extra toppings.
Price: (6) At $12, on par for the area but not particularly outstanding.
Overall: 31.5. We have it on good authority that this is one of the only things this place does right. Still, at least they are good at something! If you are in the area and need nachos, this is likely your best bet.

Comments 1 Comment
Categories Nacho Reviews

Pour House Redux: Sloppy Seconds

12 Mar

Nacho Patrol prides itself on never leading its readers and loyal fans astray. The thought of promoting a bad plate of nachos breaks the clogged arteries where our hearts used to be. But at the same time, we’re admitted sissies…for over a year we’ve been too scared to go back to Pour House because we didn’t want to risk our review of the #1 nachos in Boston. What if they weren’t that good? What if they’d raised the price? What if the cheese wasn’t as melty, the chili not as spicy, the chips not as crunchy? Our top tier nacho spank-bank contributor would be ravished! Rather than take that chance, we’ve gone fifteen months without monitoring the situation at Pour House. But now, bolstered by Spring Break and myriad naughty thoughts about Joe Mauer, we were ready to make our triumphant return to Pour House.

However, there was one small problem: we’re giant failures.

Because of technical difficulties and general stupidity on our part and on the part of the lone crazy guy waiting tables in the basement of Pour House, we can’t call this an actual review. Still, look at those babies! That’s about 5 stories of nacho goodness through and through. If you ignore the fact these are sans chili and black beans (failure #1), Pour House nachos are looking ripe for nacho perfection. The price is still right: $8.50 for their Nachos Grande, which handily defeated three Patrollers. And the flavors are all still there: yummy chili, fresh salsa, decent black beans. The cheese was a bit scant, but we blame that in part on what we had to do to actually make these Nachos Grande:

That’s right. They got our order wrong (failure #2). We’ll take the blame for compounding the problem by simply ordering a bowl of chili and a bowl of beans to dump on top. By the time the ingredients were assembled, the cheese was stiff and the chips were soggy. Distribution was a problem and by the end we had ourselves a mess of sour cream and floppy, naked chips. Now that’s just depressing.

Nacho Patrol can be accused of bias: maybe we want these nachos to be the best so we ignore the failings. Then again, we’re a team of optimists. We see the best in a plate of nachos and we recognize the potential for greatness. The moral of the story is this: when you go to Pour House (and you should. Often.) do what you have to do to get the Nachos Grande. Make sure that crazy waiter hears you. Keep your ID’s out and ready for action if you want a beer. Maybe bring a trumpet-style hearing aid if your hearing is at all compromised. But whatever you do, GET EXCITED: for the moment, these are the best nachos in Boston!

Comments Leave a Comment
Categories Nacho Reviews, Uncategorized

Long Acre: We’re Going Short on the Nachos

19 Jul

Among the tourist traps of Covent Garden and Leicester Square, Long Acre stands out for its affordable pints, good cocktails and the clientele’s (relative) lack of London maps, khakis and cameras. It fills up pretty quickly on the weekends, and plays decent music.

We managed to find a booth at 8pm on a Friday, and settled in with a few pints. The menu description did not inspire confidence; Long Acre describes its nachos as “smothered with melted cheese, jalapeños, spicy tomato salsa, guacamole, sour cream and chive.” Is there any other kind of salsa besides the spicy kind made with tomatoes? And it’s “chiveS.” Still, onward we go, bypassing the smoked salmon crostini with créme fraîche and roast mini-cumberland sausages.

Appearance: (7) At first glance, these nachos appeared promising: guacamole, salsa, sour cream, melted cheese, even chives sprinkled over the top. Closer inspection revealed something peculiar about the tortilla chips: they were actually Doritos. If this were a conscious experiment we might give Long Acre some points for creativity, but that seems doubtful. “Odd” is the best way to describe the Dorito-nachos.
Distribution: (4) There was enough salsa, guacamole and sour cream, but the cheese only existed on the top layer. The plate became progressively less nachos and more “super-bowl-chips-and-dip” as we finished off the top layer of chips. The cheese quickly cooled and coagulated, forming blocks of Doritos.
Quality: (4) The Doritos were, um, Doritos. Fresh from the bag, I’m sure! The guacamole was definitely above Tesco-quality. The salsa and sour cream—generally the no-brainers for nachos—were quite icky. And again, there was no meat! Why? English cuisine is fixated on beef, sausage, kebabs, lamb doner, and burgers. They even make pies with meat here! Yet, no meat for nachos…
Price: (7) 4.50 GBP / $7.35: For the portion size, this is the best value we’ve seen in downtown London. There’s a long way to go in terms of quality, though; we’d recommend starting with better sour cream, cheese distribution and meat. Oh, and actual tortilla chips.