Advice for the Occasional Defector: Burchos

14 Dec

It happens to the most loyal of patrollers. You’re next in line at the fast-food counter when you are faced with a dilemma. Nachos or burrito? Burrito or nachos? You weigh the pros and cons in your head.

Nachos
Burritos
DELICIOUS. Burritos are massive, but at least they’re not fried?
Tortilla chips are triangular. Burritos are round.
Nachos are social, and you don’t have any friends Burritos can be consumed alone in your cube where your only companion is a spreadsheet…

“Next!”

Crap! What to do… Then you realize the person behind the counter is not some scrappy white kid who only moved here from Connecticut for school, but is actually Mexican!

“BURRITO!”

Then the anxiety sets in. Burritos can go wrong in a lot of ways. But don’t fret. Nacho Patrol is here to help. Let us recall that valuable wisdom we acquired from our liquid-cheese sen-seis at Qdoba: burritos are really just nachos to-go. So plan your burrito accordingly with the following phrases:
“Little meat”

“Nacho cheese” (or if they don’t have it, “Mucho cheese”)

“More cheese”

And you’re done! For places that serve chips on the side, you can even get the best of both worlds and not regret your decision to stray from the caloric paradigm that is nachos (don’t forget the Cholula).

You’re welcome.

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